


i hear my heart breaking tonight (do you hear it too?)

by sergeants



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Drunken Confessions, M/M, POV Finn (Star Wars), let finn swear 2020, poe is a little shit but not on purpose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:27:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25735051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sergeants/pseuds/sergeants
Summary: "I love you too," Finn responds easily. The name for a feeling he's been searching for all this time. "Tell me again. In the morning, when we wake up. When your head is killing you because you don't listen to me when you should.""Why?" He can hear the mirth in his friend's tired voice. Their foreheads knock together, Poe's fingers twisting into the front of his t-shirt. "Afraid I'll forget?""Well, I didn't count how many drinks that was earlier but there were many."orPoe is a little drunk. Finn tries to help.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn
Comments: 10
Kudos: 89





	i hear my heart breaking tonight (do you hear it too?)

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from pink in the night by mitski. thanks for reading!! <3

Finn has never really been fond of the idea of being intoxicated.

He hasn't actually had many opportunities to get drunk in his twenty-something years in this galaxy, though the one or two times he has experienced it are enough for him to know that it's not one of his favourite things.

Poe, however, doesn't make it a habit to listen to reason. Poe would much rather get completely plastered on his day off, run a few laps around the common room with his shirt pulled over his head, pass out on Jess Pava's shoulder, and then be carried bridal style back to their shared quarters.

Finn doesn't get paid enough for any of this. (See also: Finn doesn't get paid at all.)

He's trying to pretend that he minds, and Finn would like to think he's a decent actor. But the truth is that Poe's body is a steady line of heat against Finn's side as he drags the other man along to his bed. The truth is that Poe's face is tucked into Finn's neck and he's mumbling nonsense against his skin and he's warm, so warm, and Finn doesn't want to let go.

When he does eventually let go, Poe's knees buckle, and his face goes straight for the floor.

"Shit," Finn says. "Poe, the bed is over there. Come on." He scrambles forward to check that his friend is still breathing. Thankfully, Poe only puts up half a fight when Finn lifts him gently into a sitting position.

Poe is laughing now. He's panting and clutching at Finn's shirt while he cracks up at some nonexistent joke.

"Okay," Finn says, voice soft and understanding. "Let's get you in bed, right?"

It's a struggle to get Poe onto the mattress. His friend is definitely slighter than he is but Finn is still technically recovering from a back injury, and what would usually be an easy task results in lots of cursing on Finn's part. The second Poe's body makes contact with the bed, he spreads out like a starfish and buries his face into one of his many throw pillows. Finn tries not to smile.

It's quiet for a while after that. Finn rummages around for some painkillers that Poe will definitely be needing in the morning. He sets them on the bedside table along with a glass of water. He's looking through their drawers for a blanket and a clean pair of clothes for Poe when he hears his friend mumble something. The words are muffled by the pillow, so Finn turns, blanket in hand, and approaches the bed.

Poe's hair is slightly damp with sweat, curling around his ears and the top of his neck. Finn itches to reach out and touch him.

"What was that?" Finn whispers. He sits perched on the edge of the mattress, waiting for an answer.

"It's you."

"It...What?" Finn asks.

Poe inhales sharply, flipping over onto his back so Finn can see his face. His brown eyes are shining.

"It's you," he repeats. "It's always been you, Finn. From the...when I saw you. I-I don't think I knew. But—I loved you then. I love you now."

Finn blinks. Then he blinks a few more times. None of this is making any sense but, "I love you, too," he responds. "You're my best friend. Of course I love you."

"No," Poe says, and Finn is just starting to realize that the shining in his eyes is caused by tears when Poe lurches forwards, hands braced against Finn's neck, and kisses him.

It's silent for a moment, like the aliveness of the world has been redirected and focused entirely on the two of them, in this room, on this bed. It's silent like Finn doesn't need to hear anything except his own heartbeat in his ears. Like he never will again.

It's silent for a moment. And then it's over. Poe is leaning back, letting their noses bump together. He's still holding onto Finn like he might not intend to ever fully let go.

"That," Poe says nonsensically.

"Poe." That's all Finn can manage.

"I love you like that."

Then Poe lets go and moves so his back is resting against the wall. There's a good few feet of space between them. Finn watches as Poe drops his head onto his knees and tugs at his hair likes these past few minutes have just stressed him out beyond explanation. Something stirs in Finn's chest—something tight and angry and aching all at once.

"Oh, fuck you, Dameron." He speaks the words softly but, Stars, does he mean them.

Finn gets up. He tosses the blanket in Poe's vague direction, ignoring the man's startled expression. The change of clothes he'd gathered for him lay in a heap on the floor. Finn steps over them, strides towards the door. He stomps his way through the corridor and gets about halfway to the mess hall before he wheels around and stomps his way back.

When he re-enters the room, Poe opens his mouth to say something. Finn cuts him off before he can start.

"You're telling me that it takes you getting drunk to tell me...that?" He cries.

"Finn," Poe says with too much patience. Finn scowls. "I could forget my own damn name and I'd still know how I feel about you." He pauses then confesses, "How...how I've felt all this time."

"All this time?" Finn breathes out.

Poe swallows audibly. His hands are still tangled in his hair. Finn would very much like for their hands to swap places. "From the moment I saw you."

"Why didn't you tell me?" Finn asks, voice quiet. He's a hypocrite, really. For how many months has he watched his best friend with some bittersweet sentiment tugging at his heart? For how long has he looked at Poe and thought _I don't know how to describe this feeling but I know that I am yours_?

Maybe the answer is right there in front of him. _From the moment I saw you._

"I was...so afraid you would feel...trapped. Scared. Stupid Poe and his stupid feelings. I try to run from it but. I love you. And Stars, I keep hoping that maybe you could love me." He smiles sadly. "I'm not enough. I...I never will be. Finn, you're...you're _good_. You're every good thing this universe has to offer. I wish I could give you half as much."

"You're everything and more, Dameron, you ass," Finn replies and Poe laughs in the loud, delightful way that drunk people do.

Finn bites the inside of his cheek. That same bittersweet emotion is there again, settling in his stomach. _Butterflies_ , Rey would say. "Come here."

Poe obliges, although it takes him longer than necessary to reach where Finn is standing in his current state. Finn reaches out and sweeps Poe's curls out of his eyes. Poe's skin is warm and smooth where his fingers make brief contact.

"I love you," Poe says for maybe the umpteenth time.

"I love you too," Finn responds easily. The name for a feeling he's been searching for all this time. "Tell me again. In the morning, when we wake up. When your head is killing you because you don't listen to me when you should."

"Why?" He can hear the mirth in his friend's tired voice. Their foreheads knock together, Poe's fingers twisting into the front of his t-shirt. "Afraid I'll forget?"

"Well, I didn't count how many drinks that was earlier but there were _many_."

Poe throws his head back in laughter and Finn knows he could watch him do that for the rest of his life.

"I'll tell you again in the morning. And then in the afternoon. And in the night. And then I'll tell you tomorrow and the day after that and then the next." He stops to brush his fingers across the apple of Finn's cheek, his touch light like a feather but sending a shiver down Finn's spine all the same. "Every day until you're sick of me."


End file.
